Men’s Issues

be a man meme

For understandable reasons, men often have a harder time accessing therapy. The statistics tell a story. From

  • 76% of suicides are men
  • 85% of homeless and unhoused folks are men
  • 70% of homicide victims are men
  • 40% of domestic abuse victims are men
  • 49% of men say they're more depressed than they admit

We tell men to open up, talk about things, but men are often punished whenever they DO ask for help or in any way show that they're not 100% in control at all times. Men are often painted as simplistic, uncomplicated, stoic creatures, but people are complex.

More reasons it can be harder for men to get help:
Men often take on roles in families and their professional lives where they're the ones other people rely on. They might be first responders or military servicemen.  They might have other high-pressure jobs. They might be the earners, the caretakers of parents, children, and spouses. Geographic and social isolation plays a role, for example, people in farming communities which often bear their own internal and cultural stigmas about mental health.

Sometimes it helps to see other men who faced mental health head-on and are better for it. One such guy is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. From Instagram and Twitter:

Got me thinkin' though bout how many of us have been affected by suicide of our friends, family. Struggle and pain is real. We've all been there on some level or another…We all go thru the sludge/shit and depression never discriminates. Took me a long time to realize it but the key is to not be afraid to open up. Especially us dudes have a tendency to keep it in. You're not alone.

If you deal with physical symptoms like changes in sleep, energy, or appetite, frequent headaches, muscle spasms, or any other chronic, acute, or sudden discomfort, they could be connected to mental health. Maybe that Advil you're popping would work better if you took it with a therapy chaser. Just a thought.

And sometimes, you just need a way to stitch YOURSELF up. Sometimes, that means someone's got to SHOW YOU how to stitch yourself up before you can do it yourself. I give you the tools to do just that.

In active combat, if you break your legs, you don't have the luxury to get a cast when you're just trying to get out alive. So you make do with a splint as quickly as you can, and you keep moving. But once you get to safety, you need to correctly set the bone and get a cast. You can't keep hobbling along. You COULD, but you'll end up hurting yourself even more, and you're not really addressing what's wrong. Think of talking to a therapist as the cast and the ways you've been coping so far as the splint. You've come up with really creative and varied methods of getting through things. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here. But you deserve to do more than just hobble through life.

You want to be the best father, husband, community leader you can be. You want to be a role model. You want to show up for YOURSELF.

Say whatever you need to say, however you need to say it. I don't judge when people need to vent using "colorful" language. The realer the better. Let's talk.